understanding
by brokenpoet417
Summary: draco walks in on hermione in her weakest moment. what will happen? rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

A/N i own nothing please! PLEASE! R&R this is my first fic. please be kind. not completed yet

She hated herself! She couldn't stand what she had become, what he had made her. She walk across the room to her bedside table and took out a small razorblade. Moving back to her bed she sat down and rolled up her sleeve.

Taking a deep breath, she brought the blade to her skin. Her whole body warmed and tingled as the blood started flowing faster as she cut deeper and deeper each time. This was her dirty little secret. No one could ever find out she did this.

Ever since Harry and Ron cornered her in the ally behind the hogshead tavern and raped her, she hadn't been the same. She felt so dirty. So ugly.

Tears burned in her eyes as the continued to cut the perfect pale skin on her left forearm. She jumped as she heard a knock on her door.

It must be Draco, the head boy, and her dorm mate. "Just a moment please!" she cried as she tried to stop the bleeding. He couldn't see her like this. She found a towl in the bathroom to try to clean up what was on the bed. She knew it wasn't going to stop coming from her arm.

"Herm- granger, are you alright?" Hermione? Since when has he called her that?

"I'm fine! I just need a moment!" she was starting to panic as her head stared getting heavier as she continued to lose blood. Her vision was getting blurry.

"Shit!" what was she going to do? "Granger, I'm coming in!" what could she do?

She was starting to grow weaker.

Her door flew open and there stood the man who had hated her since their first year. Only now, he had tears in his eyes, he ran to her, catching right as she was about to fall.

"Hermione! Shit! Hermione! Look at me! Talk to me please!" he started sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. Her head fell to the side, as her world started to fade to black, she could have sworn she heard him whisper,

"I love you"


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing.**

Hermione awoke to a blindingly bright light, looking around she realized she was in the hospital wing.

She sat up, her head spinning she looked to her left. There sat Draco.

He was looking at his hands with the saddest eyes she had ever seen. His platinum blonde hair hung in his face. His clothes were wrinkled. "Draco?" she asked in a small voice.

"Hermione! You're awake!" the relief was evident in his voice. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

she tried to say something, but no words came out. _What was he doing there? How long had he been there? Why was he there? _

All she could do was stare at him. She looked at her wrist. It was bandaged up with white gauze but there were still some spots where you could see the blood had leaked through.

"Hermione, why would you do that?" She looked down with tears in her eyes.

"I can't tell you. I just can't" he looked at her for a moment, before realizing that she really didn't want to tell him, he decided to let it drop for now.

He started noticing little things that he had never noticed before, like how her hair was no longer bushy, but hung straight and long down her back, and how the curve of her hips shown even through the flimsy hospital gown. And how her lips looked so soft and smooth.

He could imagine himself pressing his lips against them in a sweet tender kiss- he shook himself mentally.

He shouldn't be thinking about her like this. She hated him. She could never fell the same way.

He had started to feel this way towards her third year, when she started to change. He could never keep his eyes off of her.

Hermione saw the way his eyes traveled up her body, lingering over her lips, she wondered what her was thinking.

A flash of thought went through her head, _kiss him! _

However, she tossed it away. He could never feel the same way. She started falling for him third year, when he stopped being as cruel to her.

She loved looking at him, the way his hair fell into his face, the way he ran his hand through it when he was thinking.

The soft curve of his lips.

However, she knew it was impossible.

**Ooooooo! Cliffhanger! I'll try to update soon! Please review!**


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